Pharyngula::A better alternative to ID

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Wednesday, June 22, 2005

A better alternative to ID

PZ Myers • 26 Comments (last page)

It's called Flying Spaghetti Monsterism. I find it seductive and compelling.

I’m sure you now realize how important it is that your students are taught this alternate theory. It is absolutely imperative that they realize that observable evidence is at the discretion of a Flying Spaghetti Monster. Furthermore, it is disrespectful to teach our beliefs without wearing His chosen outfit, which of course is full pirate regalia. I cannot stress the importance of this, and unfortunately cannot describe in detail why this must be done as I fear this letter is already becoming to long. The concise explanation is that He becomes angry if we don’t.

It's a powerful theory that also explains global warming. If we let Intelligent Design creationism into our schools, I just don't see how we can rationally exclude the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

(Thanks be unto Adam Kiesling for this revelation.)

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Comments:

#29386: John M. Price — 06/22 at 09:10 AM
I saw its picture as revealed.

I am certainly convinced. Especially since communion, if applied in the Catholic sense, would be very tasty!

#29387: — 06/22 at 09:41 AM
Plus there is actual evidence of the existence of both pirate regalia and spaghetti.

Which is more evidence than the IDers have provided...

#29388: Orac — 06/22 at 09:55 AM
Besides, how do ID'ers know that it wasn't a Flying Spaghetti Monster that created the universe? They claim that the "intelligent designer" doesn't necessarily have to be the Judeo-Christian God; so why not the Spaghetti Monster?

--
Orac “A statement of fact cannot be insolent.”
http://oracknows.blogspot.com

#29389: Les Lane — 06/22 at 10:10 AM
Know your spaghetti history

#29391: PZ Myers — 06/22 at 10:20 AM
Also, as one of the few sources of origins information that presents it in pirate mode, I think I should have a shot at the Flying Spaghetti Monster papacy.

Man, think of the hat the Pirate Pope could wear.

PZ Myers
Division of Science and Math
University of Minnesota, Morris

#29392: — 06/22 at 10:23 AM
The name alone was enough to make me a true believer. Are there separate sects for marinara and pesto?

#29395: paperwight — 06/22 at 10:47 AM
Are there separate sects for marinara and pesto?

Give it a moment -- it usually takes a couple days for schism to develop. I expect the first dispute to be over whether the Flying Spaghetti Monsterite priestly hierarchy is the sole arbiter of the perfect degree of al dente or whether every Flying Spaghetti Monsterite can determine al dente for him or herself.

#29400: — 06/22 at 11:48 AM
We can worship at Italian Ristorantes. The infrastructure is already in place. We can evangelize in the pizzarias.

Unfortunately, I do have my doubts that the Olive Garden is in communion with the revealed truths of the great spaghetti monster. They seem blinded by profit and wealth. Do you think about 95 theses will fit on a customer comment card?

#29403: — 06/22 at 12:31 PM
Let me assure you that the Spaghetti Monster did not create life on earth. The earth and all its life forms was pooped out by me quite some time ago, long before I destroyed those uppity sub-deities (e.g., your so-called "God") a few years ago.

Surely you have heard of Enterocraftic Theory by now. Do a Google search.

#29405: — 06/22 at 12:51 PM
The post was hilarious, but some of the above comments are even funnier.

Teach the controversy, I say!

#29406: — 06/22 at 12:51 PM
This theory begs the infinite regress question: If the flying spaghetti monster created everything, then who boiled him/it to al dente perfection in the first place? Has the flying spaghetti monster simply been here always?

Regarding the cooking explanation, would the theoretical boiling time be eight literal minutes?

#29413: — 06/22 at 01:24 PM
I have a sail boat and know how to fence so the pirate life sounds good to me, unfortunately spaghetti makes me nausous so the spaghetti god ain't gonna be real happy with me. I guess I'm a spaghetti god atheist.

#29416: Joseph ODonnell — 06/22 at 01:51 PM
More disturbing to me, is the compelling scientific evidence they have presented that world temperatures are increasing with the corresponding decrease in pirates. I think something needs to be done to rectify this.

#29419: — 06/22 at 02:08 PM
Personally I think visitation by aliens is a better alternative theory than ID...

#29421: — 06/22 at 02:25 PM

Regarding the cooking explanation, would the theoretical boiling time be eight literal minutes?

There's a more troubling interpretation. In light of:

It's a powerful theory that also explains global warming.

It's just seems much more likely that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is not cooked yet.
Once the world reaches the right temeprature though, then the cosmic cheff will add the spagehti and the Flying Spaghetti Monster will be born(reborn?) from the ashes of our planet.

#29423: — 06/22 at 02:52 PM
It is a proven fact, known as Belson's Law, that bowls of sphagetti do not asseble themselves under random undirected fortuitous blind chance processes.

#29424: — 06/22 at 02:52 PM
Heathens! All will bow before the Gliding Ravioli Monster and pay for their blasphemy!

#29429: Jeff Fecke — 06/22 at 05:00 PM
Well, I'm not completely sold, but they've presented a more compelling argument than Michael Behe did. And the Pirates/Temperature correlation is chilling....

#29435: — 06/22 at 06:45 PM
Arrrgh!!!

#29437: — 06/22 at 07:18 PM
"Heathens! All will bow before the Gliding Ravioli Monster and pay for their blasphemy!"

As I said earlier spaghetti makes me want to hurl but if the worship service involves me running a Jolly Roger up the mast of my boat and comitting piratical acts of mayhem I say "Praises to the Big Ragu" ... or something like that.

#29445: coturnix — 06/22 at 08:19 PM
....and the skinny ones are Hair Angels? Tortellini, Maccaroni, Fetuccini...are those castes?

#29455: John M. Price — 06/22 at 09:30 PM
Avast, PZ! (That should get the pirate mode into a self referential pit!)

What would his Holiness be callin' his good self?

#29457: — 06/22 at 09:55 PM
Why, he'd be none other than the Pope Blackbeard I. It's not like other popes haven't ganked someone else's name, and how cool would it be to have people acknowledge His Holy Eminence with one eye shut and an "arrrr" escaping their lips?

(And the best is the communion rum!)

#29499: — 06/23 at 08:49 AM
"It is a proven fact, known as Belson's Law, that bowls of sphagetti do not asseble themselves under random undirected fortuitous blind chance processes."

But... but... that's what happens when my boyfriend makes spaghetti.

#29524: — 06/23 at 10:13 AM
The Flying Spaghetti Monster is a half-boiled theory yet. FSM requires eight minutes to reach perfection ("rupture"?) so humanity has to work on it four minutes more. Of course a FSM minute is like an eternity, so there is time to prepare the table and open the bottle of Chianti.

BTW, FSM answers prayers. "Oh! Mighty FSM, in your eyes oceans are - a drop, millions of years - a minute, millions of dollars - a quarter... Grant me a quarter!".

"No problem. In a minute".

Quod natura non sunt turpia

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Wednesday, June 22, 2005

A better alternative to ID

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