I like the town I live in. It's small, quiet, and a bit remote, all things that are sometimes constricting, but at the same time, it's an extremely comfortable way to live. Unfortunately, I'm also sometimes embarrassed by small-minded hicks. The latest incident in Morris was our theatre discipline's production of the children's play, Cootie Shots, which is all about promoting tolerance—that's a message some people in the community found offensive, prompting the cancellation of regional elementary school field trips. We've been reading people's complaints about the play with real disbelief.

"Oh, it's very obvious," countered Laura Carrington, a Morris school board member and retired teacher. "There's a script called 'The Parable of the Stimples.' The Stimples are people who are told that it's OK to make loud noises, but just don't make them in public. Isn't that similar to what, for years, homosexuals were told?

"Suddenly, there were more Stimples than ever. They mention that Stimples don't seem quite so 'queer.' That's pretty out front. I don't think it's the school's responsibility to promote the homosexual lifestyle."

What a bizarre interpretation of the play, and what a strange fear. I worry about my kids getting beat up at school, or being mocked and ostracized for being different, or of failing to work hard enough to succeed, but I've never, ever had a moment's fear that they might see a play and suddenly turn gay.

Carrington, who taught elementary school for 31 years, challenges the show's worth.

"It's not Cooties they're talking about, it's AIDS," she said. "Our job is to protect all our children."

It's all obviously irrational scare-mongering. This is not a play that makes AIDS desirable, nor are students going to get inoculated with viruses when they show up.

And then there's our other regional silliness: the "I ♥ My Vagina" witch hunt.

…after Carrie Rethlefsen attended a performance of the play "The Vagina Monologues" last month, she and Emily Nixon wore buttons to school that read: "I [heart] My Vagina."

School leaders said that the pin is inappropriate and that the discomfort it causes trumps the girls' right to free speech. The girls disagree. And despite repeated threats of suspension and expulsion, Rethlefsen has continued to wear her button.

The girls have won support from other students and community members. More than 100 students have ordered T-shirts bearing "I [heart] My Vagina" for girls and "I Support Your Vagina" for boys.

The Winona Daily News has plenty of silly quotes from people who are afraid of girls acknowledging the existence of their reproductive tracts. Another local UMM student blog, BMW for Peace, has been following the story since it broke.

But then, I realized I was looking at the issue backwards.

It's so easy to look at these stories and think, "Gee, what a bunch of idiots and cowards. Stupid ol' hicks." We focus on the "villains" of the tale and pretty soon we're generalizing to the properties of whole communities of backwater Minnesotans.

But hey, wait a minute, I am a rural Minnesotan! Ray Schultz, the director of Cootie Shots, also represents rural Minnesota, as do the dozens of students who are working on the play. Carrie Rethlefsen and Emily Nixon are rural Minnesotans. So are the swarm of their high-school peers who are buying those t-shirts. This isn't about wicked arch-conservative oppressors poisoning communities with their hatred, it's about smart people being bold and open and progressive. I don't even think the people opposing the play and the buttons are doing so with malicious intent—they're wrong, but they're talking about protecting their kids. It's hard to fault them for that. The objects of their fears are nonexistent, and they are being embarrassingly foolish, but their motives are pure, and they are actually incidental to the real story…which is that the next generation is showing themselves to be more open, more self-confident, and less constricted by the uninformed insecurities of the last.

It's good news, gang. Let's praise the forward-thinking communities of rural Minnesota and the heroes therein, who are working so hard for tolerance and pride. And let's not worry about a few entrenched folk who are defending, with well-meaning intent, old follies.