Pharyngula::Jesus Christ

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Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Jesus Christ

PZ Myers • 105 Comments (last page)

At the intersection of highways 28 and 59, the two main roads out of this small town I live in, there is a prominent billboard. You can imagine my reaction as I drove off to the airport last week, and saw this:

Why? This doesn't make sense.

I tried to view it through Christian eyes; it wasn't that hard, I was brought up Lutheran. What came to mind is this…

And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.
Matthew 6

Is throwing up a giant sign the same as meekly making a personal commitment to your god? Does your Jesus need his portrait raised up by roadsides?

Damned grandstanding hypocrites. Yeah, you're pious. Good for you. Now get to work on the humility.

Looking at it as an atheist, it's even worse.

No, I don't trust in Jesus, and I think I resent these arrogant christolaters trying to speak for me and my town. I suspect they'd freak out if there were a sign reading "Mohammed: I trust in you" or "Don't waste your time on god-myths". Anything that challenged the majority viewpoint here would elicit much pulpit-thumping and outraged squeaking from the sanctimonious.

Also as an atheist, I am not pleased at the reminder that the town is populated by priggish idiots who erect testimonials to their pretentious religiosity. I don't trust in you, Jesus; I think you're a chancre on humanity.

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Comments:

#41098: — 09/21 at 08:20 PM
Maybe you should hire a billboard and put you're opinion on it, see how they like it.
Have you dound out who put up the sign?

#41099: — 09/21 at 08:23 PM
"I don't trust in you, Jesus; I think you're a chancre on humanity."

Well said. This stuff drives me nuts as well. You see the same kind of thing around here. Or drive the 1 hour south to Colorado Springs, home to Focus on the Family and other nut job groups.

Jesus may be the chancre, but the piggish idiots who follow him and shove it your face are the pathogens.

#41100: — 09/21 at 08:29 PM
Here in Kansas we brave handful of evolution supporters (holed up in Lawrence, mostly, in a defensive perimeter) have our own little version of this - a bumpersticker that cheerily declares "Darwin Loves You!" Such a subtle yet delightfully nasty little reply to the loudmouthed twice-born rubes around here - never fails to make me smile! We oughta put *that* on a billboard in ten-foot-high letters. Of course, it wouldn't last a day...

#41101: — 09/21 at 08:32 PM
We have the same sort of thing here in Austin. There are billboards all over the place that says "God Loves You" in about 8 different languages and a few that say "If you must curse, use your own name!-God." You'd think the one liberal outpost in Texas would be free of such things, but no...

#41102: — 09/21 at 08:32 PM
I much prefer the old bumber sticker that said:

"Jesus saves
at 1st Federal Savings and Loan"

#41108: — 09/21 at 08:44 PM
In fact, since the billboard is anonymous, it could be understood as following Matthew's advice. Or is it doubly hyprocrite?

Quod natura non sunt turpia

#41110: — 09/21 at 08:44 PM
"Jesus saves, passes to Moses-GOOOAAAAAL!"

#41111: NiK0 — 09/21 at 08:45 PM
near my college, there's a wooden billboard that's been there since i was a prospective student - it says SAYSF... and then in small print next to it "seek and ye shall find" as a result of my crummy eyesight, it took me two years until i noticed the fine print and until then i thought it was just some random nonsense.

if i had a billboard with a jesus theme, it would say:

Jesus saves sinners and redeems them for cash and valuable prizes
or... (my favorite)
Jesus saves and takes half damage

#41114: yami — 09/21 at 08:52 PM
But it has such godawful cheesy art, how can you hate anything with that much over-the-top kitsch? It's like hating a Hummel figurine!

Oh, wait...

#41115: Mrs. Coulter — 09/21 at 08:52 PM
It strikes me that it isn't Jesus who's the problem (all that nice stuff about humbleness and loving your neighbor and forgiving people who make mistakes and all that). It's all the people who are too busy trying to kiss up to Jesus to follow his advice...

#41116: Jim Anderson — 09/21 at 08:56 PM
Up near Tacoma, Washington, there's a giant sign that once said "JESUS LOVES YOU," but about five years ago mutated to "JESUS CARES ABOUT YOU." Coming soon: "JESUS JUST WANTS TO BE FRIENDS."

#41117: PotatoStew — 09/21 at 08:57 PM
"I don't trust in you, Jesus; I think you're a chancre on humanity."

That hardly seems fair. Do you really mean to say that, or -- granting the gist of your statement -- would it be more accurate or fair to say that it's many of his followers who are a chancre on humanity?

#41118: El Brujo — 09/21 at 08:58 PM
The billboard seems a bit superfluous. I mean, how often does Jesus drive down highways 28 and 59? Especially this time of year when He's busy with high school football in the South...

#41119: S.T.R. — 09/21 at 08:58 PM
When driving on I-80, going from Nebraska into Wyoming there is a giant Jesus statue looking down over wyoming.

It is ridiculous.

#41122: MJS — 09/21 at 09:03 PM
If they truly trusted Jesus they wouldn't need to put up huge billboards proclaiming same, would they? Kissing God's ass seems unseemly, but what do I know, I'm a panthteist...

+++

#41123: Mandos — 09/21 at 09:03 PM
I'm not sure if your contradiction really holds here. Your invocation of the disapproval of public prayer is easily answered: they're not praying publicly, they're witnessing to othrs.

#41125: ang6666 — 09/21 at 09:13 PM
Can you go draw horns on him at night with him smoking weed or something?? ;)

Bet that would get your community talking!

#41126: — 09/21 at 09:13 PM

When driving on I-80, going from Nebraska into Wyoming there is a giant Jesus statue looking down over wyoming.

Here in South Carolina, we know better than to put giant Jesus statues near the highway. Instead, we have ...

http://www.roadsideamerica.com/attract/SCGAFpeach.html

Unfortunately, we do have our share of Jesus road signs.

#41130: — 09/21 at 09:29 PM
Assholes of faith constitute by far the most hypocritical mob of self-serving mushminds anywhere. I regularly have evangelicals showing up at my door (although after the last time this may change), but imagine the uproar if I stood outside a Baptist church on Sunday morning and, as it emptied, started handing out "freethinker" tracts to the flock. They'd not only scream holy hell, they'd call the cops and try to get the courts involved. They're all about 20-foot-high idols of their syphilitic hero and all about censoring my views at the drop of a hat.

Religion in America is a disease. Maybe only the symptoms of fulminant cases wreak havoc on those of us fortunate enough to be immune, but the damage its victims do -- or would do if they had their untrammelled way -- is, in the 21st century, stupefying.

At least in certain important niches, there's a terrible triad of ignorance, refractoriness, and persistence that turns them into rabid dogs -- dumb as nature allows, incapable of learning anything new, and determined to fight to the death. And people wonder why things heat up when these zombies-on-meth circle the wagons for yet another long session of firing extraordinarily loud blanks at those not infected.

Since they might as well be aliens, I refer to the causative agent as the religious byrus, after the infectious menace in Dreamcatcher.

Whew! It's been quite the day. Might have emptied the magazine on that one.

#41131: Virge — 09/21 at 09:31 PM
Over at Museum of Hoaxes:
Giant Jesus Prevents Auto Accidents

#41133: paperwight — 09/21 at 09:34 PM
I'm of Mrs. Coulter's mindset on this. I think that Jesus had a lot of fairly interesting things to say, at least according to the Gospels. Actually trusting what he had to say would lead one in directions that would profoundly afflict the comfort of those self-promoting, self-congratulatory pseudo-followers who I imagine put that billboard up.

Someone should tell these people that the single best form of witnessing would be for them to be exemplary, humble (and not self-congratulatorily humble, but REALLY humble) members of the community. But that is likely beyond them.

#41134: Zeno — 09/21 at 09:35 PM
I think, PZ, that the billboard is supposed to give you and warm and fuzzy feelings, pointing out the gaping god-sized hole in your life into which Jesus will fit ever so nicely. See? Someone you can trust. The billboard says so. I imagine the people who paid for it are just full of warm fuzzies when they admire their handiwork. They're full of other stuff, too, but it perplexes them when others look upon their chosen god-image and do not feel what they feel. Just ask my Mom and Dad, for example. [sigh]

#41135: — 09/21 at 09:35 PM
Since I feel that a spirit of competition is developing among the commenters about who has the biggest Jesus, I must point out that we Latins are Numero Uno in erecting pretentious testimonials to our pretentious religiosity. The city of Sao Paolo, Brasil, for example, is overlooked by a tremendous figure of Christ with open arms standing on the Azucar Hill. This was so successful that nearly all towns with a suitable hill now have their own impressive Christs. Quito, for a change, has a white angel with fantastic triangular wings.

Quod natura non sunt turpia

#41137: — 09/21 at 09:43 PM
"The city of Sao Paolo, Brasil, for example, is overlooked by a tremendous figure of Christ with open arms standing on the Azucar Hill."

I was thinking that was Rio de Janeiro, or is that where they have a giant cross? I know that Amarillo, Texas has a cross at least 200 feet tall right off the highway. Otherwise a charming place, though.

I have nothing against Jesus the historical figure or even the Jesus of the Bible (who may not have lived), but because of what he's been turned into, I enjoy telling particularly obnoxious Christians that Jesus' chief accomplishments were inventing Hell and attracting a lot of followers. In modern times there was a certain man who also had a large following and is maybe best known for establishing genuinely hellish places with kinda Teutonic-sounding names. Can't remember the dude's handle, though...

#41139: — 09/21 at 09:45 PM
The trouble with the chancre billboard would be the confrontational nature of it. Well, then again, the real trouble is that so many people view atheism as inherently confrontational. Perhaps we should go for "Humanism Is Great" or "Trust Science!" I'd put "secularism" up there as well, but the bastards have made that into a dirty word in this country.

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Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Jesus Christ

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