That's me in the dog suit. I mentioned that I was going to be in a parade this weekend, and that was it—I was capering for our local humane society. It was an interesting exercise in physiology, as well. It was in the upper 80s out there, with 100% humidity. The dog suit is moderately heavy cloth with lots of inch-thick foam rubber padding all over the place. You can imagine how hot it gets in there (and all along the parade route, people would say the same thing to me: "Are you hot in there?" I was ready to bite a few.) There are a few things I must remember if I ever have to do this again.

• Don't wear glasses. First they fogged up, then the sweat running off my head smeared them, and then because my skin was so slick with sweat they started sliding off my nose...and when your head is in a giant foam rubber appliance, there's no way to adjust them. Vision isn't an issue since I could only see a few degrees of arc directly in front of me anyway, and I just focused on the bumper of the car in front of me and plodded along, waving blindly.
• Wear a belt. I was wearing comfortable shorts, but they were saturated with sweat within ten minutes. Sweat-soaked clothes are heavy. Sweat-covered skin is slippery. Again, when you are imbedded in a foam rubber appliance you do not have any way to pull your pants up. I was afraid I was going to have to stand there waving to small children with my soggy underwear drooping down around my knees. (I resorted to a kind of bow-legged waddle that spared me that ignominy.)
• Drink lots of water beforehand. I was extremely impressed with how much fluid was oozing out of my body.
• Don't drink too much water beforehand. When your crotch is swaddled in foam rubber behind zippered fabric and your hands are foam rubber paws, evacuation options are limited.
• Shake the spiders out of the dog head before the march. I didn't mind having them scurrying around in there, but as the pungent vapors rose and the inner lining of the head was beaded with viscid, oily droplets of salty sweat, I really felt sorry for them.

Looking on the bright side, though, my daughter was in the parade with me, and we should have smeared her with sunblock, and she was complaining about all the mosquitos chowing down on her tender flesh. I didn't get a single bite, nor did I suffer even the slightest sunburn.