Pharyngula

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Friday, July 29, 2005

My heart-warming tale of self-affirmation

Creek Running North has a guest blogger this week, and she has asked for inspirational stories to help her get started. So here's a little motivational tale from my undergraduate days about my love for animals, and how I learned to overcome self-doubt and appreciate myself.

I was one of those nerdy little dormies in college. I thought I was quiet and pleasant, and I showered every day, but there was one troubling thing…I just couldn't keep a roommate. I had a few who lasted a year, and several who only lasted a quarter before transferring out. I was beginning to wonder what was wrong with me, whether I had some subtle character flaw.

Then one term I acquired a new roommate I'll call Jack. Jack seemed a nice enough fellow, but he soon showed the signs I was getting used to…the nervous tics, the way his voice would crack when he'd talk to me, his frequent prolonged absences.

He started freaking out over the most innocuous things. He'd complain when I'd idly play with my collection of dental picks and scalpels and rongeurs, and he insisted that I only sharpen my forceps when he wasn't in the room. I had a wonderful set of dental picks, I want you to know, and I liked to keep my forceps needle sharp.

Jack also objected to my pets. I had a small swarm of frogs—I'd made them myself, inducing ovulation in a female and fertilizing her eggs with minced male gonad, and so had raised them from the time they were itty-bitty gametes—which I fed on bits of liver and baby food and earthworms. They would just peep quietly in the night, and he found that objectionable.

And then there was my cat. I'd been working on a cat in comparative anatomy, and we'd mainly focused on musculoskeletal stuff. I want to do more nervous system work, which was outside the curriculum, so when we were disposing of the carcasses I snipped a few muscles and made a quick snick behind the third cervical vertebra, and took the head home in my pocket. It was a pretty white cat, and the head was a little smaller than my fist.

So of course I named her Snowball.

I was courteous. I only worked on Snowball when Jack wasn't in the room, and I kept her tucked away in a secret place otherwise. It was a quiet, harmless hobby—I was meticulously carving away the skull to expose the cranial nerves.

And then one day I came home from class to find Jack incoherent and furious. He could barely speak and would just squeak and point at our mini-refrigerator.

He'd found Snowball.

There she was, floating in brine in a yogurt cup, a perfectly isolated brain with two eyes dangling on stalks, and a flawless fringe of delicate nerves splayed out beautifully. Jack seemed upset.

But hey, what was he doing opening my yogurt cups?

Later, Jack would take my girlfriend aside and try to break us up. He told her I was going to be some kind of serial killer and that I was going to do horrible things to her some day. Fortunately, this was the girl who would go worm-hunting with me and would help me chop them up for the froggies, and with whom I'd had a few dissection dates, so she just laughed.

I realized, though, that the problem wasn't me. I was a good roommate. It was them. They were jealous of my implements, they were trying to break up my relationships, they were trying to steal my yogurt behind my back! Bastards. The lesson I learned was that it was their fault, and the lesson they should have learned is to stay out of my refrigerator.

I just needed to find a good person to room with. So I moved in with my girlfriend and lived happily ever after.


Trackback url: http://pharyngula.org/index/trackback/2650/8RhYKtLt/

Comments:
#33173: — 07/29  at  09:40 PM
I have a similar tale. I knew it was love when my future wife let me pick up roadkill (I think it was a weasel) on one of our first dates.



's avatar #33174: Virge — 07/29  at  09:55 PM
This post was the cat's whiskers.
I'm still chuckling.



#33177: — 07/29  at  10:15 PM
Okay, that was great. Wine all over my hostess' monitor great. You are a sick, sick man. Thank you.



#33179: — 07/29  at  10:32 PM
PZ,
Great Story.
I just thought I would bring your attention to this CNN story about cannibalism in womb. Another great evidence of intelligent design (I hate to be the shrink for such a creator).

http://www.cnn.com/2005/TECH/science/07/28/test.tube.sharks.reut/index.html



#33180: — 07/29  at  10:46 PM
Linus, that is a great story. Thanks for posting it. Both because of the ultra-cool cannibalism angle, and because the idea of artificial uterine environments is so exciting. If the people working on the nurse shark project can make that happen, it's a big step toward human uterine replicators. Which is very very interesting, biologically and sociologically.



#33183: bitchphd — 07/29  at  11:18 PM
Hahahahaha ICK!



#33186: Peter Parker — 07/30  at  05:10 AM
I can only imagine Jack:
"Dumm dumm dumm, stealing Myer's yogurt...gonna put it in my tummy...yummy yummy tummy...

::cracks open first yogurt container::

...nope don't like vanilla...let me try something over here...mmmmm strawberry...let me just ease up that lid...oh you're a stubborn sucker, eh?...little more elbow grease.. and viol-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"



#33187: — 07/30  at  05:34 AM
Heh. I always enjoy a good story with a morale and a happy ending.



#33189: Alon Levy — 07/30  at  06:28 AM
I had a small swarm of frogs—I'd made them myself, inducing ovulation in a female and fertilizing her eggs with minced male gonad, and so had raised them from the time they were itty-bitty gametes—which I fed on bits of liver and baby food and earthworms. They would just peep quietly in the night, and he found that objectionable.


I think it was you rather than Jack... His trying to break you and Mary up was inexcusable, but I think any reasonable non-biologist would be peeved by a roommate with frogs.



#33201: Zed Pobre — 07/30  at  09:03 AM
I have fond memories of a female classmate who chased an annoying male classmate around with a pair of shark eyeballs when he wouldn't stop pestering her.

To be fair, I would have run, too. They were still dripping with formaldehyde, and the smell of that stuff is hell to get out of your clothing.

Incidentally, your captcha code is partially broken; if you preview and then submit, the captcha validation isn't retained and it forces you to go back.



's avatar #33204: PZ Myers — 07/30  at  09:14 AM
I'm about to update the code. Let's see if that fixes this bug.

PZ Myers
Division of Science and Math
University of Minnesota, Morris



's avatar #33215: Raven — 07/30  at  11:13 AM
It's not just the formaldehyde, Zed--sharks bring their own oily unforgettable specialness to the picture. No matter how much I washed up after shark lab, when I'd return to the computer lab, people would sniff loudly and pointedly sit as far away from me as they could. This never happened on cat lab day, only after sharks. You're right about the clothing, too--never wear anything you care about to shark lab.

Funny story about the eyeballs!



Trackback: Back in action Tracked on: corollary (202.0.62.88) at 2005 09 12 03:02:42
Listening to: Bach, cello suite no. 4 in E flat, BWV 1010. Played by Maurice Gendron. “Whatever happened to August?” you cry. Well quite. Part of the reason for my not writing much was the fact that I was in the UK for two weeks. I attended the TPHOLs conference in Oxford, and also visited friends and colleagues in Cambridge. Loyal though I am to Cambridge, I have to say that Oxford is prettier. It was a lovely venue in which to catch up with other members of my research…



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