OK, I give up. Everyone is writing about Star Wars, so I might as well join in. Even if I haven't seen the new one.

I saw the original Star Wars on the first day it was out, way back when I was a college boy. There was hardly anyone in the theater, and I loved it. I enjoyed it so much that I just stayed in my seat and watched a second showing (you could do that in 1977, especially for a cheesy sci-fi movie without many attendees.) The disillusionment set in with the second movie, though—although it was a much better show, with hints of a little more depth, the stupid Vader-is-Luke's-daddy idea was so clearly a kludged-in plot twist that it was apparent that Lucas was just winging it. And the third movie…gah. Ewoks? Hated them. Star Wars was nothing but a promotional vehicle for toys and fast food. The two prequels so far have been amazing abysses of suckitude; Sarlaacs of the big screen.

Really, gang. It's just a movie. I'll go see it when it shows up in the local theater, with exactly the same enthusiasm I had for Chronicles of Riddick. I'll see it because I like SF on general principle, not because I think there's much prospect for quality in this one.

As for the right-wing babble that it's some political parable to bash on GW Bush…Lance Mannion does a fine job of skewering that one. It's a shallow cartoon, without a smidgen of insight. It's clear that some people take themselves far too seriously.

The only thing goofier than taking lessons on politics from George Lucas is extracting religious ideas from it. Mannion links to an article by Orson Scott Card that does just that, though. I've liked a few of Card's books, but his commentaries convince me that I would not want to be in the same room with the guy, not without an emergency chemical shower and the possibility of a rapid, rocket assisted exit. This time, he is irate that people would actually like the Jedi religion.

It's one thing to put your faith in a religion founded by a real person who claimed divine revelation, but it's something else entirely to have, as the scripture of your religion, a storyline that you know was made up by a very nonprophetic human being.

Wha...? Your irony meters may have been spared if you didn't already know that Card is devoutly religious. Your meters are glowing heaps of radioactive slag right now if you knew that Card is a devout Mormon.

The whole article is full of bizarre statements that suggest Card is completely lacking in self-awareness about the nonsense he believes.

Of course, all this quibbling would be moot if, in fact, the Jedi religion actually worked—if people could tap into the Force and do the miracles that the Jedi routinely perform.

I say pretty much the same thing about Christianity. The fact that prayer doesn't work and that priests can't do magic and saints don't have special super powers doesn't seem to interfere with people's ability to believe. Just as the fact that the Star Wars movies have all been wooden, clumsy vehicles for special effects doesn't prevent some people from enjoying them. It sounds like the latest is a bit better than the previous three, so even I will probably have a mildly pleasant time watching it…but I definitely won't be making the mistake of thinking any of it is real.