#54837: decrepitoldfool — 12/22  at  08:48 AM
Finally! A use for popcorn strings!

#54839: — 12/22  at  08:53 AM
We don't celebrate Secularmas at our house. We are a bit late in getting the Kitzmas tree up, but we wanted to make sure that there acually would be a Kitzmas this year. I believe the tree goes up tonight. Happy Hole-i-days!

#54840: — 12/22  at  08:53 AM
While a FSM is pretty cool, we have a flying pig on our skeptical tree. Merry Solstice, all.

#54842: — 12/22  at  08:57 AM
End of story spoiler alert!

The Xmas Duck fights with Giblets at the edge of the Crack o' Doom and bites off Giblets's ring finger with the Creator's Decoder Ring on it. Drunk with glee and power the Xmas Duck stumbles into the Crack of Doom. The Dark Ages finally end and the Enligtenment of Secular Humanism begins.

#54845: — 12/22  at  09:10 AM
Organized musical Christian proselytizers knocked on my door last night, so I turned out the lights until they went away.

One more day until Cephalopodmas.

#54851: Zeno — 12/22  at  09:43 AM
I can never remember. How deep does the hole have to be to qualify as a Secularmas tree? This is getting to be too much work!

Happy humbug!

#54852: — 12/22  at  09:44 AM
Put this in your Hox pipe and smoke it!

(.)(.)

#54855: — 12/22  at  09:57 AM
I wanted to send out Solstice cards this year but Hallmark was out of them (funny, I didn't have this problem for Halloween).

#54856: — 12/22  at  09:59 AM
You get mould for Secularmas! Eeeh, Americans. When I were a lad all I got for Secularmas were a clip round the ear and I were bloody grateful! Rocks! We'd've killed for rocks!

#54859: — 12/22  at  10:19 AM
Thanks, w00t. I'm addin' boobies to my Secularmas list. Boy, are all the humanists gonna be surprised and have much jolliarity this Secularmas season.

#54861: — 12/22  at  10:24 AM
Jollity (which I presume means over-eating, drinking too much, wild partying)? Christmas trees? Exchange of presents? Would these Christians have us believe that these are good Biblical practices? I've been told by Christians that Christmas gift-giving is in memory of the gifts brought by the Magi to the Christ-child, but is that really the origin of the modern tradition, or just another attempt to subsume the practices of other religions in order to conquer them?

I recall seeing the text of a letter to the Venerable Bede from the Pope of the time in which Bede was encouraged to win over the pagans of the British Isles by appropriating their religious customs into those of the English Church.

#54863: Ken Cope — 12/22  at  10:59 AM
Wouldn't want our tannenBaum to be St. Nikko-less.

Kitzmas, Fitzmas, Secularmas...

Io, Saturnalia!

#54864: — 12/22  at  11:20 AM
JM - I'm a firm Christian and I can honestly say the following things.

1. This post is frickarious! Even I find this funny. The notion that Secularists don't enjoy life is absurd. If they don't enjoy life, it's only because religous people constant bash you for your belief =-\.
2. The concept of Christmas has become so twisted. While yes gift giving is symbolic of the magi, personally I feel it is more accuratly represented (from a Christain point of view) by "Christ gave to me, so I give to others." HOWEVER now it has become "If mommy doesn't get me this 20 foot list of toys, she must not love me."
3. The squid-like-thing? That might be my new MSN display pic! LMAO!

#54870: — 12/22  at  11:56 AM
The story of the virgin birth, complete with the three magi bearing gifts, goes way back. I'm not sure if the Pharoahnic Egyptians celebrated a holiday with gift giving though.

The mythical Messiah was always born of a Virgin Mother--a factor unknown in natural phenomena, and one that cannot be historical, one that can only be explained by means of the Mythos, and those conditions of primitive sociology which are mirrored in mythology and preserved in theology. The virgin mother has been represented in Egypt by the maiden Queen, Mut-em-ua, the future mother of Amenhept III some 16 centuries B.C. , who impersonated the eternal virgin that produced the eternal child.

Four consecutive scenes reproduced in my book are found pourtrayed upon the innermost walls of the Holy of Holies in the Temple of Luxor, which was built by Amenhept III., a Pharaoh of the 17th dynasty. The first scene on the left hand shows the God Taht, the Lunar Mercury, the Annunciator of the Gods, in the act of hailing the Virgin Queen, and announcing to her that she is to give birth to the coming Son. In the next scene the God Kneph (in conjunction with Hathor) gives the new life. This is the Holy Ghost or Spirit that causes the Immaculate Conception, Kneph being the spirit by name in Egyptian. The natural effects are made apparent in the virgin's swelling form.

Next the mother is seated on the mid-wife's stool, and the newborn child is supported in the hands of one of the nurses. The fourth scene is that of the Adoration. Here the child is enthroned, receiving homage from the Gods and gifts from men. Behind the deity Kneph, on the right, three spirits--the Three Magi, or Kings of the Legend, are kneeling and offering presents with their right hand, and life with their left. The child thus announced, incarnated, born, and worshipped, was the Pharaonic representative of the Aten Sun in Egypt, the God Adon of Syria, and Hebrew Adonai; the child-Christ of the Aten Cult; the miraculous conception of the ever-virgin mother, personated by Mut-em-ua, as mother of the "only one," and representative of the divine mother of the youthful Sun-God.

These scenes, which were mythical in Egypt, have been copied or reproduced as historical in the Canonical Gospels, where they stand like four corner-stones to the Historic Structure, and prove that the foundations are mythical.

#54872: — 12/22  at  11:59 AM
Encyclopaedia Britannica says

Customs and Traditions > Gift giving
is one of the oldest customs associated with Christmas: it is actually older than the holiday itself. When the date of Christmas was set to fall in December, it was done at least in part to compete with ancient pagan festivals that occurred about the same time. The Romans, for example, celebrated the Saturnalia on December 17. It was a winter feast of merrymaking and gift exchanging. Two weeks later, on the Roman New Year—January 1—houses were decorated with greenery and lights, and gifts were given to children and the poor...

#54881: DouglasG — 12/22  at  12:41 PM
Christmas trees go back farther than Christmas! And Christians. And Santa Claus. And ...

I can't say how far back the Secularmas Hole goes though.

#54882: — 12/22  at  12:54 PM
There is an older name for the secular winter festival - Yule.

It's an old pagan tradition that newer religions subsumed. According to Wikipedia ""Paganism" is also sometimes used to mean the lack of (an accepted monotheistic) religion, and therefore sometimes means essentially the same as atheism."

Essentially the same is god enough for me as long as I get bribed by yule gifts.

#54886: — 12/22  at  01:37 PM
God Jul, as my Norse relatives would say. (And no, it does't refer to a deity.)

But I'll celebrate Secularmas too, if somebody gives me a box of rocks. Mold can be scrubbed off. I'd like chunks of blueschist, some red jasper, a few nice agates, rainbow obsidian...

Does my passion for rocks mean I'm supposed to worship some kind of earth-goddess? And if so, what's her midwinter party called?

#54894: — 12/22  at  02:42 PM
We have long topped our tree with a Fantod, which comes from an Edward Gorey tale; I think it was called "The Uninvited Guest," but I'm not sure I'm recalling that correctly. I made the Fantod, and covered his nakedness, including his large purple balls, with a variety of colored feathers. He also has wings. Most people registered him as some kind of weird angel...
Meanwhile, we don't have a tree, nor a hole, and I find myslef not wanting to hear any more x-mas music EVER.

#54895: — 12/22  at  02:46 PM
I agree with Karen. I'd be happy to get rocks for Secularmas. I need some feldspathoidal syenite, and Pele's hair, and while we're at it, my feldspar collection needs bytownite, andesine, and anorthite.

#54896: — 12/22  at  02:49 PM
Oh, and I need sylvanite. Can you believe it? Stupid gold tellurides, so expensive.

#54899: — 12/22  at  03:00 PM
My family and I are celebrating Ravenmas this solstice season. It remembers when Raven stole the sun from the evil chief and returned it to the sky for all us humans. (A northwest American indian creation myth.) We even have a Ravenmas tree decorated with ravens and suns.

#54902: — 12/22  at  03:59 PM

#54856: Marge — 12/22 at 09:59 AM
You get mould for Secularmas! Eeeh, Americans. When I were a lad all I got for Secularmas were a clip round the ear and I were bloody grateful! Rocks! We'd've killed for rocks!

.

I can't say how far back the Secularmas Hole goes though.

When I was young, we couldn't afford a hole! Instead, we.. uh
OK, that's as far as that idea went.

#54905: — 12/22  at  04:31 PM
Cephalopodmas?

http://www.livejournal.com/users/radioactive/69983.html

#54909: — 12/22  at  04:49 PM

#54905: Jason Malloy — 12/22 at 04:31 PM
Cephalopodmas?
http://www.livejournal.com/users/radioactive/69983.html

Glad to see that it's catching on. I thought it was tomorrow, not today. Those solar and lunar calendars can be so confusing!