Pharyngula

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Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Random thoughts on the appointment of a new Pope

  • Forget this "Benedict" crap, I'm always going to think of him as Pope Ratzinger.
  • Former Hitler Youth and Nazi?* Why am I not surprised?
  • Those sunken eyes, that soulless grin…I'm thinking Zombie Pope.**
  • Weren't there any Borgias in the running?
  • Giblets is going to be sooooo pissed.
  • The last guy was considered relatively progressive, and he was a tight-sphinctered reactionary when it came to women, gays, and, well, just about everything. This one is a conservative hardliner…does that mean return of the Inquisition, or that we'll have a dramatic rebound with the appointment of the first lesbian cardinal?
  • Personally, I was rooting for Sophia Loren.
  • "the driving force behind crackdowns on liberation theology, religious pluralism, challenges to traditional moral teachings on issues such as homosexuality, and dissent on such issues as women's ordination." Yeah, that's the man to represent orthodox religion in the 21st century.
  • Boo yah, atheism is going to be more popular than ever!

*Edited because we must be accurate.

**Or vampire.***

***Or lich. It's getting very hard to keep up with all the suggestions; can we just say some generic form of evil undead?

The other bulleted points are, of course, completely true.

Whoa. Matthew just put up a few links that have completely changed my view of this pope.

Separated at birth? Pope Ratzi and the Evil Bilbo.

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Trackback url: http://pharyngula.org/index/trackback/2190/xDsCkqBR/

Comments:
#22859: Hank Fox — 04/24  at  10:15 AM
Kevin said: "I am a Celiac. This means that because of the risk of anemia and eventually, GI cancers, I cannot receive Christ in the species of the consecrated host as I have all my life, but only in the species of his precious blood."

From a news story: "The issue made national headlines in 2001 when the parents of a 5-year-old Boston girl with celiac disease left the Catholic Church after their pastor and subsequently Cardinal Bernard Law would not allow them to substitute the wheat host with a rice wafer for her First Communion."

This is just so we all know what poor Kevin is facing. To Kevin's fervently-beloved Catholic Church, his health disorder disqualifies him -- and about 1 in 130 other Catholic Americans -- from full participation in the practices of their religion. Apparently only a wafer with wheat in it is holy enough for the Catholic hierarchy.

But that's just a little aside to my main comment, which follows:

Kevin, the basic content of your posts here is "Me victim, you victimizers."

Which ain't gonna end up being true no matter how many words you sling at it.

The first part seems true enough. In one way, you do seem like a victim. You have a pretty good grasp of English, which -- being an editor -- I always unconsciously equate with intelligence. But you're damaged in some way, and it sounds to me like one of the problems, maybe the main problem, is what I sometimes refer to as "religious illness."

But nobody here is responsible for that. Nobody here has hurt you, or is hurting you. (Just by the by, nobody here is capable of injuring the Catholic Church, or the Catholic faith.)

The new political correctness in America, it seems to me, is the claim of victimization. The way the thing works is that if you can claim someone is hurting you by the things they say or think, they automatically have to shut up and go away, and you get to move in and take over the field of discussion.

(The thing seems to work even if you’re rich and politically powerful: Thus the Christian Right can claim they are being wickedly discriminated against by people resisting them putting their religious icons into courthouses, schools and public commons. And they actually gain ground.)

So here you are, Kevin, practicing your victim chops, “and if you answer back, it just proves you’re being mean to me!” and you’re all hurt because nobody’s buying it.

Get a grip, kid. You’re not MY victim, and neither is any other of the billion-plus body of Catholics. You’re just confused. And you’re looking in the wrong place for enemies.



#22875: — 04/24  at  11:24 AM
Unusual. I thought I had a pretty good grasp of English, but I was surprised to learn that apparently "I find the tenets of this religion silly and I disagree with the political and social policies of its newly elected leader!" to actually mean "I hate Jews and Catholics and religious people and I would gladly help the Nazis put them all in gas chambers!"

How's the weather up there on your high horse?



#22876: — 04/24  at  11:26 AM
Well, Kevin, I'm older than you and I was raised Catholic, and you're lucky you're not as old as I am, because in those days we were never allowed to receive the Sacrament under 2 species, only the bread, so you'd have been shit outa luck, wouldn't you?

You imagine your god carefully prepared it so that celiacs could continue to receive. Yet somehow he failed to make his foresight clear to his minions down here.

Yet they, in their turn, taught my parents that if they didn't pay to send me to their crappy schools, they'd go to hell.

So, imagine yourself translated into my place: You're paying good coin, under threat of eternal punishment, to be taught that GOD! doesn't want you to receive him in his HOLY SACRAMENT.

Hank has fingered you exactly. You think you're a victim. Well, my heart bleeds for you, having to get to mass early, poor baby.

My heart bleeds a little more for the 300,000 Jews murdered by the Catholic Croats with the connivance of Pius XII, who then hid the murderers (some of them, anyway) in the Vatican.

Everybody else here is more forgiving than I am. Professor Myers says he's not mocking Catholics in general.

Well, wake up and smell the coffee, Kevin, I am. The institution is what's evil, and if some rare individuals within it fail to contribute everything they can to its crimes, then we outsiders can be thankful.

You'll notice that -- except for me -- no one here is mocking the Catholic Church for whatever benevolent activities it pursues.

I tried to think of one this morning, and I came back to my friend Jim. Jim was a priest, working as a missionary in Bolivia, until he left the priesthood (but not the Church) to marry.

He and his wife, a Bolivian, then adopted abandoned Quecha children and brought them to live in the United States.

Admirable behavior, and it was inspired by their conception of Catholicism (though non-Catholics sometimes do the same). Yet, though they wished to rescue more children, the Bolivian government rang down the curtain on external adoptions.

As he was explaining this to me, I said, 'Fine, if they're going to take care of them themselves.'

'That's just it,' said Jim. 'They're not.'

So, here we have a whole society that is practically 100% Catholic, banding together to prevent the rescue of little children.

Your religion is evil, Kevin. Your pope is a ridiculous buffoon in a silly hat.

There weren't five and a half million people killed at Auschwitz. No, I didn't google 'auschwitz catholics,' because I already have studied the history of the German Christian war against the Jews (and Gypsies, and Polish intelligentsia, including Catholic priests) in detail.

I notice you duck my comment about pogroms. I understand why. You are afraid to touch it.



#22877: — 04/24  at  11:27 AM
"to actually mean" = "actually means"

(We need to get post editing up in here.)



#23021: — 04/25  at  06:35 PM
Your Bloq is hilarious. I found you by googling for Pope Benedict and evil eyes. I laughed uproariously at the photo comparing the evil Bilbo and Himself. There is something about those eyes...jeepers-creepers. What is it about all these religious zealots lately? They come in so many colours and clothing styles, but their eyes are all derranged looking.
"The most legitimate inquisition comes from simply asking why then doing the math.



Trackback: Pope Spitballs? Tracked on: No More Mr. Nice Guy! (68.2.100.189) at 2005 04 25 22:38:29
Other bloggers have commented on the striking resemblance of Joseph "Heilige Hitlerjugend" Ratzinger to Evil Bilbo and to Nosferatu. Only this blog is brave enough to reveal the truth, which is even scarier and more shocking! Judge for yourselves:



Trackback: free credit reportr Tracked on: free credit reportr (207.248.240.119) at 2005 07 21 09:03:53
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