I've been cursed with a meme, which I seize upon as an excuse to avoid that pile of lab reports.

Seven Things To Do Before I Die

1. Hand my wallet to a family member.
2. Insurance policy up to date?
3. Clean underwear.
4. Any incriminating evidence must be disposed of.
5. Write the bastard's name in blood on the floor—and no stupid anagrams or idiotic codes.
6. Make sure my bowels and bladder are empty.
7. Compose face into cryptic and beatific smile, hope it sticks that way.

Seven Things I Cannot Do

1. Get elected to political office.
2. Stifle myself.
3. Lick my own nose.
4. Appreciate my freakish good looks.
5. Photosynthesize.
6. Sing.
7. Come up with a seventh thing I can't do.

Seven Things That Attract Me to Blogging

1. The money.
2. The groupies.
3. The spammers.
4. The power.
5. The public criticism.
6. The parties.
7. The secret handshake.

Seven Things I Say Most Often

1. "hmmm."
2. "uh."
3. "OK."
4. "yeah, sure, you betcha."
5. "no."
6. "hi."
7. "bye."

That will get you through most phone calls, I've discovered.

Seven Books That I Love

This is an insane question. Seven? Just seven? No way. I refuse to shackle my love to so restrictive a prison.

Seven Movies That I Watch Over and Over Again

This question has the opposite problem: there aren't any. There are lots of movies I like, and I'll happily watch them a second time, but I generally don't persist in viewing movies repeatedly. Now Skatje (whose weblog has been shut down for about a month while I procrastinated about fixing a spam problem) has some movies I know she watches over and over…I should pass this thing on to her.

Seven People I Want To Join In Too

Or maybe not. You know, if everyone has to name seven new people with each generation of this meme, there are going to be 5,764,801 articles on this subject after just 8 generations. I think it is my obligation to stop the proliferation now.