Pharyngula::State-approved insanity

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Saturday, January 07, 2006

State-approved insanity

PZ Myers • 58 Comments (last page)

The Wall Street Journal has just reported that three Christian ministers claim to have snuck into a Senate hearing room in order to anoint the chairs that will be used for Samuel Alito's confirmation hearing next week.
"We did adequately apply oil to all the seats," the Rev. Rob Schenck tells the Journal. Schenck and his colleagues insisted that they aren't taking sides in the confirmation fight. But Schenck said that God is "interested" in "what goes on" in Alito's confirmation process.

The title "Reverend" is carried by a lot of lunatics, isn't it?

I have a hard time imagining a Lord of the Universe who whispers into the ears of the Three Stooges that they ought to go grease up a couple of chairs to lubricate the approval process for his chosen wingnut. It's almost as hard to imagine that these kooks have congregations that respect and follow them…

(via Mike the Mad Biologist)

Trackback url: http://pharyngula.org/index/trackback/3685/0YwLGLsk/

Comments:

#56863: — 01/07 at 03:09 PM
Is this any different than (say) spraying Anthrax on the microphones of senators opposed to Alioto?

Yes, putting oil on a chair is different from putting anthrax on a microphone to acheive an outcome. I don't think I have to list the reasons why.

If these clowns really believe this, why don't we prosecute them for interfering with official Senate business?

Might have to have some proof that God is going to intervene because of it. That's gonna' be tough. Unless more directly the oil causes somebody to slip and fall ... but then they shouldn't be standing on the chair now should they? ;)

#56865: — 01/07 at 03:39 PM
Anybody know whether they lubed all the seats, or just those of the Senators bringing their Baby Jesus Buttplugs?

#56868: — 01/07 at 04:20 PM
My thoughts went exactly as did SKR's--how is this admission less threatening than if someone had admitted spreading anthrax or aerosolized smallpox? Are these three nutbars going to be locked up for the duration of the Alito hearings?

Un-freaking believable.

#56875: — 01/07 at 05:40 PM
Olive oil would indicate that the reverends (reverendi?) were Pastafarians and the diety in question was the Flying Spaghetti Monster. More likely it was an oil like palm or peanut or possibly wingnut oil.

#56876: Mike Doughney — 01/07 at 05:47 PM
While this stuff with the oil might sound like a "fringe" activity, this practice has been quietly spreading among churches and church-associated groups and was promoted by National Association of Evangelicals head Ted Haggard in his ten year old book, "Primary Purpose," about his experiences driving all the sane people out of Colorado Springs:

"Two weeks later Bob and a group of young men were in our sanctuary on a Friday night praying over a five-gallon metal bucket of cooking oil. 'We asked God what to do, and He told us to anoint the city with oil,' Bob explained. 'We've seen people go forward and get a drop of oil on their foreheads, so for the city we got a pump-up garden sprayer to take out with us when we pray."

So now at least one student evangelical group at a large state university is quite proud of how they're running around campus spraying oil all over the place with squirt guns.

Trackback: A Question For pat Tracked on: Modulator (63.247.135.223) at 2006 01 07 18:11:21
Laurence Simon asks:Gene Scott was, by all appearances, a deeply religious and faithful man, preaching the Gospel to millions, if not billions. I've been told he never had a harsh or bad words for anyone, and he was deeply respected for his scholarship and his faith by many of his peers. What was Gene Scott's stroke punishment for, Pat?Yep. People,...

#56884: — 01/07 at 07:53 PM
Hey leave them alone! Anointing with oil is a way the bible condons for reciving God's blessing. We want Men of honor and principle in positions of power and we need God's blessing to got them there.

#56885: — 01/07 at 08:16 PM
Alvin,

Yes we want men of honor and principal in positions of power, but a thorough confirmation process is how to get them there. Putting oil on seats only gets you oily seats.

All I ask is that you use the brain you have in your head and think.

...darth

#56886: — 01/07 at 08:33 PM
I think this post explains how the holy oil works:

http://www.reclusiveleftist.com/?p=39

#56890: — 01/07 at 09:05 PM
Isn't God supposed to be all powerful?

Why would he need these nincompoops preparing the scene?

#56891: — 01/07 at 09:14 PM
Why would he need these nincompoops preparing the scene?

Maybe God's pussy is dry.

#56893: — 01/07 at 09:21 PM
I am waiting for them to start marching around the building seven times praying and playing horns. It worked for Joshua!

Why is it that people who do these kinds of things aren't locked up for their own good in some sort of home where they can make pictures of god with Zooroni and not bother anyone?

#56894: Mike Doughney — 01/07 at 09:35 PM
I am waiting for them to start marching around the building seven times praying and playing horns. It worked for Joshua!

Having watched a bunch of shofar-blowing kids from Operation Rescue do exactly that in a Barnes and Noble parking lot (not kidding), I can assure you that they'd have already done this around government buildings, except for the fact that their aim is not to destroy the government but to take it over for their own ends. So you don't quite see them doing the Joshua thing, it shakes out more in the direction of 24/7 obsession through prayer like the JHOP group situated a block away from the Capitol.

#56902: — 01/07 at 11:44 PM
Q: How many queers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Two. And a bottle of Mazola® oil . . .

The clergy's proclivities having been so thoroughly outed in recent days and years, I've no doubt at all which oil it was they used. And on the seats no less . . .

#56906: Mike Richard — 01/08 at 02:42 AM
I doubt anyone can "sneak" into the Senate.

What I want to know is who let these freaks in there and why aren't they being prosecuted?

#56914: — 01/08 at 04:24 AM
If the seats were leather, then they should have been getting "oiled" regularly anyway to keep them supple. Similarly the lecture bench if it was wood - except the usual term is "polish".

One chemistry teacher remarked to my parents on how odd it was to have had three successive children from the same family who had each been the ones in the class who comprehended the need for, and were competent at, the scrubbing down and re-polishing of the lab benches. The missing information with which he was then enlightened was that our house had extensive polished wooden flooring. So all of us had repeatedly experienced the clean-up process.

#56922: — 01/08 at 07:07 AM
Guidance
Divination
Level: Cleric 0, Druid 0
Components: V, S,M (holy anointment oil)
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Touch
Target: Creature touched by anointment oil
Duration: 1 minute or until discharged
Saving Throw: Will negates (harmless)
Spell Resistance: Yes

This spell imbues the subject with a touch of divine guidance. The creature gets a +1 competence bonus on a single attack roll, saving throw, or skill check. It must choose to use the bonus before making the roll to which it applies.

#56927: — 01/08 at 09:11 AM
You guys break my heart. Doesn't anybody believe in God anymore?

#56929: — 01/08 at 09:41 AM
The god fundie loons like this believe in is a disgusting piss-ant sadist who in the real world would wind up in prison for torturing and murdering his children.

Such a being is unworthy of notice, let alone worship.

No, I do not believe in such a "god", and I mock the antics of the deluded fan club that created it just as I mock the less-murderous antics of the Manson Family.

#56932: — 01/08 at 10:44 AM
How do we know it wasn't to the great god of Big Oil? This god has much power over the current administration. Maybe it was a light grade domestic crude that was used.

#56939: — 01/08 at 11:35 AM
KY Jelly would have been much better lube than even Pennzoil for the Divine Shaft of Approval! What were they thinkin'?

That is truly hilarious.

#56940: jay denari — 01/08 at 11:38 AM
They'd better hope they got the right oil or maybe they'll see their supporters needing to use their hands to avoid slipping off their chairs and unable to vote.

Humor aside... what if next time someone says they're anointing the seats, they're actually planting a bomb? Somebody on the security staff obviously supports these wackos, and that's scary.

#56941: — 01/08 at 11:43 AM
The association the godders did between oiling seats and lubricating the approval process is (ugh!) - associal.

Mrs,
"I can't just say 10W-40 or 0W-30, though, as oil over here is probably called something different. Metric system and all, you know."

I am not a car expert, but there seems to be at least two tribologic systems for car engine oil, SAE and ISO classing. The numbers you mention are SAE classes. They are still used in at least some metric countries instead of ISO, though ISO would supposedly connect better to the SI system.

Alas, you must still have faith, in your automechanic, if you don't learn enough to supervise the refill...

#56942: The Rev. Schmitt. — 01/08 at 12:21 PM
The title "Reverend" is carried by a lot of lunatics, isn't it?

Hey! I didn't spend five minutes to fill in all the fields necessary for this ordination to be lumped in with crackpots and loons.

I did it so that I could marry cats to each other, thank you very much.

-The Rev. Schmitt.

#56944: — 01/08 at 12:32 PM

You guys break my heart. Doesn't anybody believe in God anymore?

Which god?

I did it so that I could marry cats to each other, thank you very much.

You've become ordained and you don't even want to form a cult or anything? Yeesh, seems like a waste to me....

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Saturday, January 07, 2006

State-approved insanity

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