Pharyngula::The ladies already knew about our lack, of course

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Monday, November 28, 2005

The ladies already knew about our lack, of course

PZ Myers • 31 Comments (last page)

This comment on the Panda's Thumb leads to a very interesting entry on OMIM, the database of human genetic characters. We're missing something.

OS PENIS, CONGENITAL ABSENCE OF

Deletion of the gulonolactone oxidase gene on 8p21 is a genetic disease that affects 100% of humans. Lack of the enzyme causes severe connective tissue disease and makes humans dependent upon dietary supplements of ascorbic acid; see 240400. Gilbert and Zevit (2001) pointed out that another genetic condition, affecting 100% of human males, is congenital lack of a baculum (os priapi; os penis). Whereas most mammals (including common species such as dogs and mice) and most other primates (except spider monkeys) have a penile bone, human males lack this bone and must rely on fluid hydraulics to maintain erections. The size of the rodent baculum is regulated by the posterior members of the HOXD (142987) set of transcription factors. Gilbert and Zevit (2001) suggested that it was not a costal rib but rather the penile 'rib' or baculum that God removed from Adam to create Eve (Genesis 2:21-23). Genesis also states that 'the Lord God closed up the flesh.' Gilbert and Zevit (2001) suggested that the raphe on the penis and scrotum was thought to be the surgical scar.

I'm a deformed mutant, a pathetic shadow of my bold, upright ancestors. My only consolation is that all you other guys are, too.

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Comments:

#51015: Abie — 11/28 at 06:15 PM
This is positively hilarious, and very well put, but I am getting pretty disturbed by the idea that i was, as a member of the gentler sex, ultimately brought forth by an os priapi.

Maybe "Alas, poor Yorick!" shouldn't be said to a skull...

#51018: pough — 11/28 at 06:26 PM
There must be some way to put something back in there. If they can do rings, why not tubes?

#51020: Jim Harrison — 11/28 at 06:38 PM
I for one refuse to be intimidated by such an obvious argumentum ad baculum.

#51022: coturnix — 11/28 at 07:04 PM
Who said scientists had no sense of humor?

#51023: coturnix — 11/28 at 07:23 PM
Still with funny science, bigger is not always better, so chekc out the study on the incredible shrinking waist!

#51025: Left_Wing_Fox — 11/28 at 07:30 PM
Heh, my zoology teacher at NAIT had an impressive baculum; borrowed without expectation of return from a seal of some sort. Must have been an elephant seal, since the thing was the size of a baseball bat. He threatened us with a very ignoble death if we missed assignments.

#51028: MJS — 11/28 at 07:57 PM
Joseph Campbell wrote about a ritualistic (tribal) penis sub-incision that followed, often by more than a few years, the circumcision of the male initiates. The second incision was considered "a male vagina" underneath the shaft of the penis and I think occured about the age when our own youth are going to keggers. Animus and Anima notwithstanding, there are more undercurrents going on (biologically & psychologically) than are dreamt of in poor Horatio's philosophy.

Homer Simpson: I wish I had a monkey's paw.

+++

#51031: — 11/28 at 08:14 PM
My favorite tribal penis ritual is the one where the glanz is scored with a razor-sharp stone in an asterix shaped pattern so that when the individual is aroused, his penis "flowers."

#51032: — 11/28 at 08:18 PM
OK OK... I can deal with my fate, but must we bring blades, implants and incisions into it?

(I helped a woman birth a child, pinched a spurting artery, and adjusted a drainage tube in my abdomen. There is just something about that area...)

#51041: decrepitoldfool — 11/28 at 09:57 PM
Hmm... this seems like good fodder for a pornographic gene-therapy, science-fiction, Outer-Limits episode where the "lack" is to be corrected by inserting and activating the necessary gene.

#51046: John McKay — 11/28 at 11:02 PM
Some of you might remember me mentinging this last February; I do have a penis bone (many Alaskans do). I keep mine in a drawer in the library. I ran a picture of it (http://johnmckay.blogspot.com/2005/02/of-oosiks-and-blog-traffic-pz-meyers.html) during another discussion of penis evolution. Funny how that subject keeps popping up, so to speak.

#51048: Chris Clarke — 11/28 at 11:16 PM
What, none of you guys have a baculum? That's weird.

"I do not think we should antagonize the religious when it is not warranted, though I think we should be willing to do so whenever it is.”
-- Glen Davidson

#51049: coturnix — 11/28 at 11:20 PM
What, all of you guys need a baculum? That's weird.

#51051: — 11/28 at 11:27 PM
Human males developed notorious cajolery capabilities to hide their mutated, defective instrument.

Quod natura non sunt turpia

#51054: Alon Levy — 11/29 at 02:37 AM
I don't understand what the biblical reference toward the end of the quote is doing there.

#51057: — 11/29 at 04:21 AM
An old eBay pal of mine named Jeff used to sell racoon baculums on eBay. Called them "Mountain Men's Toothpicks."

People on the eBay Q&A board used to send each other goodies, like the homemade caramel popcorn I was once sent, etc... so once when Jeff sent me a baculum I announced on the board that I just got another goody, a funny shaped pretzel from Jeff. Said it was very crunchy but needed more salt.

That got a number of "ewwwwwwww!"s.

dunno why I felt the need to mention this.

#51058: — 11/29 at 04:24 AM
(there was always a lot of jokes about Scott Baculum, too.)

#51063: Martin Wisse — 11/29 at 05:25 AM
At least that means we cannot break our penis; can you imagine having a broken [enis bone?

#51066: — 11/29 at 05:39 AM

can you imagine having a broken penis bone?

Ow. Just ow. Thanks for mentioning it. NOT!

#51067: — 11/29 at 05:40 AM
Baculi are useful. Prof. Mani implanted an inflatable one in King Fahd of Saudia. Soon afterwards he was named President of Tel Aviv University.

Quod natura non sunt turpia

#51068: — 11/29 at 05:42 AM
Mani, not the king.

Quod natura non sunt turpia

#51073: — 11/29 at 07:25 AM
"This bone aids in copulation when mates have only a short encounter and need to perform quickly."

So now I know why we don't want it and don't need it. For a moment there I felt like I got the short end of the stick.

#51101: Keith Douglas — 11/29 at 10:16 AM
Do animals whose males have a baculum have females with a clitoris? If so, do those have a baculum too?

#51111: — 11/29 at 10:49 AM

At least that means we cannot break our penis...

As I understand it, you can break the hydraulic chambers in the human penis, which is quite painful and produces a sometimes quite severe bend in the organ.

#51245: Gen. JC Christian, patriot — 11/30 at 12:37 AM
"This bone aids in copulation when mates have only a short encounter and need to perform quickly."

Hmmmm. Maybe I... uhhh... some guys have a bone like that.

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Monday, November 28, 2005

The ladies already knew about our lack, of course

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