PZ Myers. 2005 Oct 27. Suddenly, I appreciate my kids a little more. <http://pharyngula.org/index/weblog/suddenly_i_appreciate_my_kids_a_little_more/>. Accessed 2008 Nov 20.
Posted on M00o93H7pQ09L8X1t49cHY01Z5j4TT91fGfr on Thursday, October 27, 2005
Suddenly, I appreciate my kids a little more
"I want some motherfuckin' chocolate milk!"
Jebus. Watch this video of a kid playing some violent video game. It's not so much the game that bothers me as the kid's attitude—he's got a headset on and is screaming at his mother to wait on him. Man, if one of my kids had ever tried to pull some stunt like this, they would not have had any video games. Ever. The X-box would have been in the trash can. I can't even imagine any of my kids being this pushy, greedy, arrogant, and rude.
Don't watch it if you have kids of your own—this stuff is like nails on a blackboard to a parent. Well, any parent other than the kind in the recording, that is.
(via Stupid Evil Bastard)
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Thats nuts. If that was my kid I'd break the disk over his head, donate the Xbox, and ban him to his room.. which is why I don't got kids
I'd half blame the mother for letting it get that bad, that was terrible. I hope that kid heard himself over the internet so he knows how he sounds.#: Posted by on 10/27 at 03:30 PM -
Yes. I haven't seen it yet, being at work, but with that in mind, based on the description and assuming it isn't staged (if you have any idea of what "Leeeeroy Jenkins!" is, you'll know what I mean): HEAVY parental discipline is in order there.
And, for the record: I'm very much an adult, would describe myself as a heavy gamer, and that is SO not us. We only use that language with each other. ;) But seriously, that just isn't normal. This is why we cringe at the public image of gamers and pick fights with Jack Thompson. This little puke isn't helping matters.#: Posted by on 10/27 at 03:37 PM -
So looks like Cartman got himself an XBox.
#: Posted by on 10/27 at 03:41 PM
- I dunno. Cartman seems to treat his mother much better than this little brat does.
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There was a great commercial a few years back with a bratty kid who is playing a video game and his parents come in the room and the kid gives them the "stop sign" and says "Talk to the hand."
Too funny.#: Posted by on 10/27 at 04:11 PM -
Paul wrote:
"I can't even imagine any of my kids being this pushy, greedy, arrogant, and rude."
As a teacher for 33 years I can say with great confidence that in most cases the branch doesn't fall far from the tree.
We reap what we sow.#: Posted by charlie wagner on 10/27 at 04:22 PM -
My 9-year old plays GameCube games and online stuff, maybe even a little excessively. But he knows to keep doing so, he has to do his homework, be courteous to his mom and me, act right at school, and generally be a good kid. Frankly, game privileges are pretty good leverage on the very rare occasion he wants to act out...
#: Posted by on 10/27 at 04:38 PM
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The mother should learn not to disturb the kid when he's playing. Playing, which is just as important as any other useless hobby, requires all your attention and parents should learn not to nag about things they don't even understand. Think of trying to focus on something you think is important while someone who doesn't understand shit about your hobby disturbs you all the time.
#: Posted by Mikko Sandt on 10/27 at 04:54 PM
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Slightly off topic, but the kid is really a bad shot, too.
#: Posted by on 10/27 at 05:30 PM
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Wow that is one rude kid. Sounds real to me. Leeeeroy Jenkins is still funny even if staged!
Wait til someone like O'Reilly gets ahold of this and wants to ban online gaming so some other nonsense. Should we start a whole nature vs. nurture argument about children's behavior?
#: Posted by on 10/27 at 05:31 PM -
Oompa loompa oompity doo . . .
#: Posted by on 10/27 at 06:24 PM
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That was the most horrendously unpleasant thing I've witnessed in quite some time. What the f*ck is his mother doing? (Or not doing.)
The mother should learn not to disturb the kid when he's playing.
Jebus, I hope you're kidding. If my daughter ever talked to me like that she'd get her xbox taken away til she was 18 and she wouldn't be able to do anything else fun for at least two months. To start.#: Posted by on 10/27 at 06:36 PM -
Slightly off topic, but the kid is really a bad shot, too
To be honest, he is kind of busy screaming abuse at his mom...#: Posted by on 10/27 at 06:38 PM -
It is hillarious. All you need is a sequel screen that comes up and says - Next time consider using a condom..."
#: Posted by on 10/27 at 06:43 PM
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It is hillarious. All you need is a sequel screen that comes up and says - Next time consider using a condom..."
Wasn't there a European ad for birth control like that making the rounds of the internet a couple years ago? I seem to recall some mother in a grocery store with some horrid little monster in tow screaming abuse.#: Posted by on 10/27 at 06:59 PM -
Jebus, I hope you're kidding. If my daughter ever talked to me like that she'd get her xbox taken away til she was 18 and she wouldn't be able to do anything else fun for at least two months. To start.
Maybe this mother should've been smart enough to realize that the kid is playing online which pretty much means "do not disturb". Mother's authority over her children doesn't justify idiotism.#: Posted by Mikko Sandt on 10/27 at 07:04 PM -
I've not loaded it (I'm stuck on a 33k dialup - please pity), but.. I can't help but suspect there's more to this than "violent games". Do we see footage of this kid *away* from the game? I have this feeling that this kid gets whatever he wants, when he wants it - he's spoilt, and that he's like this regardless of whether he's playing KillFrenzy Rampage III, or walking through the toy department of a Wal-Mart.
#: Posted by on 10/27 at 07:23 PM
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Maybe this mother should've been smart enough to realize that the kid is playing online which pretty much means "do not disturb". Mother's authority over her children doesn't justify idiotism
Please promise not to have kids.#: Posted by on 10/27 at 07:46 PM -
I have to jump in to defend the kid here. When goes to one of those online sessions, he's making a fairly serious commitment to the others in his team that he's going to play and finish playing. It's incredibly frustrating to have to deal with a parent that shows absolutely no respect for the commitments he's made to his teammates. Parents often don't understand just how important these games can be to the children. They expect that the child will be able to simply drop the game at any time, and if they don't that they're being "pushy, greedy, arrogant, and rude". But in reality--oftentime--either the kid is fulfilling commitments he's made to others in an online game or he's in a situation where if he were to immediately drop the game he'd lose hours or days of effort. These relationships and commitments just don't seem real to the parent, even though they're very real to the child, so they don't know to respect them. This can lead to conflicts like in the linked video. The parents say "it's just a game", and the kids feel denigrated and belittled besides the immediate disappointment and frustration and even embarrassment.
The parents' needs can be met perfectly well by always making it clear beforehand what times are available to the child for this sort of recreation, and perhaps setting some soft time limits on it so that the parent is ensured enough of the child's time to do chores and such.
I'm sure that this particular family is pretty dysfunctional in many ways, but I know that in this particular situation, without more background, the blame can be placed mainly on the mother. -
You guys defending the kid are out of your mind. Imagine what that kid's teacher has to put up with.
It is the mother's fault. The first "shit" would have been enough to have me simply pull the plug and smash the X-Box. I have two kids... my son plays on-line games... it is not a "disease". It is a social game. Yes the language gets rough. Sometimes I have to quiet him down, but to other family members???
I do not accept that the game suspends the rules of the house. The #1 rule is that we all treat each other with dignity and respect. You don't have to agree. You don't have to love me. We all, WITHOUT EXCEPTION, treat each other with dignity and respect.
All other discussions start from there. Period.#: Posted by on 10/27 at 08:52 PM -
pdf23ds writes...
I have to jump in to defend the kid here. When goes to one of those online sessions, he's making a fairly serious commitment to the others in his team that he's going to play and finish playing.
I'm sorry, but there's nothing about such a commitment that in any way justifies the abuse this kid is giving his mother. I'm a 38 year old gamer myself and I have a 15 year old daughter who also plays online games pretty heavily and there's no way in hell my kid would ever think to speak to me like that, commitment or no commitment. Which isn't to say that we don't bump heads over a game from time to time, but nothing on this scale in part because my kid has her priorities straight and in part because she knows it's a fast-track to not being able to make any such commitments again for a very long time. -
A fairly serious commitment? Nonsense. It's a fricken video game. Yes, I've played counterstrike online, etc... so don't tell me I don't understand.
It's a game. Period. Fun to play, but if it ever becomes so important to you that your "clan" gets more respect than your mother, if it ever becomes something that you would actually use the words "serious" and "commitment" in reference to, then you need to turn the damned thing off and take a very close look at yourself.#: Posted by on 10/27 at 09:28 PM -
Wasn't there a European ad for birth control like that making the rounds of the internet a couple years ago?
Yeah, that was a good one.
Here's <a href=http://www.metacafe.com/watch/1442/use_condoms>the video</a>, by the way. Which I might add, is much funnier when you're not expecting the punchline.#: Posted by Jason Malloy on 10/27 at 09:47 PM -
Kids like this are rampant in online games. I gave up playing Halo2 online because there are so many 12-year-old asshats who think they can say whatever they want because they're physically not next to you. It's a game, and it's meant to be fun, and sadly kids don't understand that it's just that: a video game.
#: Posted by Jason Bock on 10/27 at 10:04 PM
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There are days when I wonder what ever happened to reality.
RBH#: Posted by on 10/28 at 12:20 AM -
No 9-year-old should act like that. But to be fair, playing in a group does entail some commitment, and in some games an interruption at the wrong time can mean a lot of time and work lost.
Sure, it's just a game, but multiplayer is not pac-man, you can't just *stop* without some consequences.
Still, in a game like the one in the video, you can just say "Sorry guys, I've got to bail." Not the end of the world.#: Posted by on 10/28 at 12:32 AM -
"When goes to one of those online sessions, he's making a fairly serious commitment to the others in his team that he's going to play and finish playing."
"Maybe this mother should've been smart enough to realize that the kid is playing online which pretty much means "do not disturb".
Are you people for REAL?#: Posted by on 10/28 at 12:43 AM -
If that was my kid, I'd flip a coin and either let him have a .357slug behind the ear or drown the little fucker in the toilet.
#: Posted by Federico Contreras on 10/28 at 12:44 AM
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Oh, and I wish they'd show that condom commercial in the USA. But it'd never happen, too much a culture of children here.
#: Posted by on 10/28 at 12:55 AM
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That's freakin' nuts. Disciplinary action from me would be swift and memorable.
#: Posted by on 10/28 at 04:48 AM
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Funny how those defending the kid catch abuse and those fantasizing about beating and murdering the kid are taken to rational and well-adjusted. Hyperbole is fun and all, but it can be rather disturbing in some cases, especially when you consider that some people really do abuse kids and rationalize it as a response to misbehaviour.
In any case, Les and Dave Eaton have it right. Bugging someone while he's trying to concentrate may be annoying and in extreme cases rude, but it hardly justifies screaming abuse. How many people who get disturbed at their workplaces respond with insults and swearing? Your team may depend on you, but if you lose a match because you were talking to your Mom, I think they'll understand. So the kid definitely needs some discipline.
That said, "simply pull[ing] the plug and smash[ing] the X-Box" is exactly the sort of poor impulse control that rubs off on kids and leads to jerkish behaviour on the part of the kids themselves.#: Posted by on 10/28 at 05:28 AM -
The kid's apparently playing some kind of Counterstrike knockoff, where you work in teams and try to shoot the other team. Well, that's the theory. In practice, you mostly swear at people and accuse them of homosexuality.
The kid learned that attitude somewhere, and it may not all have been from his mother. No way these games are appropriate for children, unless you want to raise foul-mouthed homophobes.
On a related note, I once spoke to the soldiers who wrote America's Army (a DOD-funded multiplayer game used as a recruiting tool). Oddly enough, the army guys viscerally loathe Counterstrike. Apparently, seeing a bunch of arrogrant, undisciplined yahoos running around--and killing their teammates for weapons--touches some pretty raw nerves in a military officer.#: Posted by on 10/28 at 05:43 AM -
Kids don't get that way all at once. they become monsters only if you let them.
Children are - by nature - greedy, demanding, self centered tyrants. It's the parents job to teach them not to be as they grow up. Teaching them to share and empathize and have patience and manners, and to respect authority - even if they do get to question it as well.
At 6, my son used to accuse his GameCube of cheeating when he lost. And when he got too upset he lost his privileges with the game for periods of time. On one occasion, he had a tantrum so bad that we returned th rental game to the store less than one hour after we had picked it up, and I made him drop it in the slot as I let him know that he could try again the next weekend.
My job - to teach him to be a stable, functioning member of society - is one I take very seriously. I want him to grow up into a man I will be proud of, and I hope that I set an example to ensure that he will also be proud of me. -
As someone who plays Halo2 online at least twice a week, I feel obliged to point out that there *is* a rational way to handle this situation.
Mom says "Stop playing and come here", kid says "Can it wait a minute, Mom? I'm in the middle of a game". If mom says yes, you finish the match; if mom says no, you make a polite excuse (the aforementioned "Sorry guys, I've got to bail") and leave.
No abuse required, from either end. I can say with absolute certainty that if I'd ever spoken to my mother that way, no matter what the provocation (and no matter how old I was), I would have been spanked.#: Posted by on 10/28 at 08:27 AM -
And if mom interrupts you while you're in the middle of a painfully hard boss fight? No wonder kids stay up all night playing. It's the only time of day they're not being forced to do stuff by everybody.
#: Posted by on 10/28 at 09:04 AM
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1) That "comdom ad' idea recalls a riff from John Brunner's novel Stand on Zanzibar.
2) Yes, discipline is important. So is education about priorities! I don't have kids myself, but I have a total of 9 neices, nephews, and once-removed-cousins, with a 10th on the way. So far, the oldest of these is only 5, but I'm pretty sure that if *any* of them try placing online games above respect to their parents, they'll get a fast education in consequences. "Suddenly, the dungeon collapses...."
3) Yes, kids also need to be allowed to pursue some of their own goals, but this needs to happen within the family structure. If interruption-free playing time is important to the kid, they should learn how to negotiate with their parents to arrange for it. Obscenity-laced demands for refreshments are not a good step in negotiations....#: Posted by on 10/28 at 09:33 AM -
Rey
Are you people for REAL?
Just because you don't understand it doens't mean that we're wrong. This is just like Christians trying to force their moral standards on others.#: Posted by Mikko Sandt on 10/28 at 09:35 AM -
As readers of the Chalcedon Report will know, such children should be stoned to death.
#: Posted by on 10/28 at 10:24 AM
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As an adult player of Battlefield2 and Counterstrike, believe me, letting these little snots play these games is plain bad parenting, not to mention annoying as hell for the rest of us trying to play an adult, team-based game. Kids should learn about soft porn LONG before you let them play a game where you kill people as a goal. Americans have their shit completely backward.
#: Posted by Federico Contreras on 10/28 at 10:35 AM
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So is education about priorities!
Forcing your kids to listen to some nonsense and interrupting something important is your idea of a priority?
You'd be making your kid's life miserable just so that you can make a point.
if *any* of them try placing online games above respect to their parents
Respect has to be earned. Idiot parents don't deserve respect just because they're parents.#: Posted by Mikko Sandt on 10/28 at 10:48 AM -
Federico Contreras
As an adult player of Battlefield2 and Counterstrike, believe me, letting these little snots play these games is plain bad parenting
Wrong. Most kids are not disturbed by violent games any more than they're disturbed by playing with plastic guns outside. Some Counter-Strike is totally ok for most kids as it is okay for most adults. Violence doesn't become any more "ok" when you grow up.
not to mention annoying as hell for the rest of us trying to play an adult, team-based game.
Adults can be idiots too.#: Posted by Mikko Sandt on 10/28 at 10:54 AM -
"In any case, Les and Dave Eaton have it right. Bugging someone while he's trying to concentrate may be annoying and in extreme cases rude, but it hardly justifies screaming abuse. How many people who get disturbed at their workplaces respond with insults and swearing?"
It doesn't justify the sort of abuse that took place in the video, of course. But the kind of family situation that leads to this kind of encounter (I grew up in such a family) is one in which there is very little trust between the child and the parent in any situation. As the parents are the ones that have the responsibility to earn the trust of the child to begin with, I think that from a larger perspective the parents can be blamed for the verbal abuse too.
Then again, in a situation where one party has all of the power, and controls all or most aspects of the kids' lives fcom an early age, there's not much that the parents can't be blamed for (except in the sense that the parents' ignorance of good parenting skills are the result of other circumstances, and that chain of reasoning can go on ad nauseum.)
But say we're using blame to assign responsibility for changing the circumstances that led to the blameworthy event, based on who is in a social position to change the situation--who has the power, in other words. This seems to me to be a pretty reasonable definition. With this definition, I think the parents here share about equal blame with the kid. They're the ones that can stop the destructive patterns that lead to this kind of interaction in the first place. The kid, on the other hand, can certainly try to explain why the game is so important and try to negotiate some uninterrupted time. (If they've done so and the parent/s are not interested, more blame shifts to them.)
Now, if we modify our definition to take into account the different agents' abilities, not just the avenues theoretically open to them, the blame shifts. The fact that the kid, being young, is less likely to have the mental maturity and language skill to negotiate better circumstances for himself lessens his blame in this situation, I think. So I'm going to assign 3/5 of the blame to the parent/s in this particular video, given the little knowledge I have of the particulars.
And to all of the people who are so incredibly irked by this. Your reactions really rub me the wrong way. When I was growing up my parents took the same attitude toward me. I feel that it was dehumanizing to a degree. It betrayed a lack of respect for my anger, and a lack of understanding of my values. It's hard to know what you would do if you actually had a kid like that, because if you did you wouldn't be the parent you are, but if your own children ever do start to act like that, don't take it as a sign of disrespect to you. Take it as a sign of their frustration. Try to understand what's going on instead of reacting so unthinkingly. In this kind of situation, what I would do as a parent is let the immediate situation pass, and then make it clear to the kid that video games simply aren't that important. Explain to them why just putting the game down isn't a big deal. The kid in the video, as many others, doesn't understand this. That they don't should be expected to, given the circumstances of their upbringing. Video games for them are an important social outlet, and to belittle them without understanding that is just to engender more distrust from your kid. It takes maturity to realize that leaving a session like that is, normally, really no big deal. Make sure they have that maturity, and you'll solve a lot of problems a lot better than the knee-jerk (and to the kid, very offensive) "I'll just throw it away then" reactions.
What, you say, "too bad it's offensive. They need to learn their lesson." What lesson does it teach them to take away something important to them because you don't think it's as important as they do, and because it's interefering with their (otherwise valid) responsibilities to you? Remember, your kid probably agrees that they have a responsibility to take out the dishes or water the cats or whatever. What the difference is is that they think this session of counterstrike is too important to stop just to go do this or that chore. To simply take away something they hold that important can only lead to offense, bitterness, and an even more antagonistic relationship than they probably already have with you. The proper reaction is to respect how important they think it is and try to convince them that it isn't actually that important, or that they have to spend less time to fulfill their familial responsibilities (which come first), or something. - Another note. It seems likely that the reaction to withdraw their permission to play video games is motivated more by an desire to assert one's power over the kid, to "save face", to get revenge against the insult of their disrespect, than by any genuine concern in the well-being of the relationship. Something to consider.
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I guess we disagree on priorities. As far as I'm concerned, video games, "social" or not, are very very low on the priorities list. Sure, I think that in the case of a horrible bratty kid, most of the blame should be placed on the parents. Sure, I think these things can be discussed between parents and children without devolving into tantrums and broken gaming equipment. Sure I believe the strict authoritarian model isn't the best parenting model. But you'll never convince me that video games are anything more than a diversion and are more important than common decency, keeping a functioning household, schoolwork, real social interaction, physical activity, creative activity...or pretty much anything else.
#: Posted by on 10/28 at 01:09 PM
- I don't think they are important (though at that age, I thought more of them). I do think they are low priority. They are for me, and they should be for my kids (if I had them). But you can't deny that they're sometimes very important to your own child, that they give them high priority. They shouldn't, perhaps, but they do, and to begin to change that, you have to realize it and acknowledge it to your child. If you don't acknowledge that your child finds them important--which doesn't mean you have to agree!--it "can only lead to offense, bitterness, and an even more antagonistic relationship", especially when situations like this come up.
- You'd be wrong. I'd yank the game away from my kid because he was demonstrating a serious imbalance, a lack of perspective, that was bad for him. It's not about asserting power, it's about trying to get your kid to value the right things.
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Regardless of your motivations, yanking their controller out of their hands or the box out of the wall is the wrong way to right your child's imbalance, because it gives them the impression that they're being misunderstood and not valued as a person, which doesn't incline them to change their values. Maybe taking the game away for a time (but not interrupting too badly) or limiting their time on it would be appropriate, but you have to realize--as PZ does--that your goal should be to change their priorities, to change what the value, to change what's important to them. If taking them game away seems like the best thing to do that, then go ahead. But in many situations, it could be counterproductive. I think if you take the game away from them with the attitude that it's a punishment for their disobedience when they didn't put the game down, it's most likely going to be counterproductive. If you communicate that you're taking it away because it's evidence that their interest has crossed the line into the unhealthy, and you think a little privation could balance their lives, then it has a chance of working, along with other conversations, etc. And, PZ, your hyperbole (was it?) in main post, and others' comments, suggested to me that the attitude would be punishment, not correction.
It's the difference between communicating to your kid that you don't value their values and that you disagree with them. Children react very positively to the latter (which is why religion runs in families) but negatively to the former, as I've personally experienced. - I'm pretty concerned about the privacy aspects of posting and disseminating this thing. The audio is of real people here, people who are not expecting that their comments are being broadcast to the world, and there's no indication that they've given consent to be judged or made fun of. Certainly there have been plenty of discussions I've had with my parents or my children which could have been secretely taped and selectively exposed to public ridicule, and I don't think that I was an unusually bad child or parent. I think children deserve some protection from evisceration in the media, perhaps until they are nominated for the Supreme Court, or at least until they turn 18.
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Rey
Are you people for REAL?
Just because you don't understand it doens't mean that we're wrong. This is just like Christians trying to force their moral standards on others.
No. We understand very clearly, people who think this kind of behaviour is acceptable and can't comprehend how letting it happen once, means being lax the next time, then the next time, etc., until pretty soon the little shit is yelling at the parent on Jerry Springer for not serving them pizza every night, is ***precisely*** the sort of bad parenting that lets two similar shits load up on guns, that the parents don't know about because they 'respect their space', then shoot up a school. And guess what!?! Its the game the shit plays that gets blaimed for it, not the fact that the parents didn't think it was appropriate to interfere with them. You people are the a major part of the problem and the reason why the rest of us have to listen to some ass babble psuedo-scientific nonsense about Killology, and claim the government has to step in and force us all to play Pokemon, because some idiot is actually not only stupid enough to buy their 9 year old a CT clone in the first place, but also lets the kid get by with yelling at them when they interrupt them. -
Forcing your kids to listen to some nonsense and interrupting something important is your idea of a priority?
A video game is 'something important'?
You'd be making your kid's life miserable just so that you can make a point.
How old are you, 16 or 17? You see nothing wrong with a child screaming abuse at her mother over a video game? I hate to imagine what you consider normal in your relationships.
I urgently hope you become smarter than this before you have kids of your own. Perhaps it'd be best if you never did.#: Posted by on 10/28 at 11:38 PM -
A video game is 'something important'?
Think of it as a cross between a hobby and a sport, and you'd get it about right in terms of importance and commitment involved. Gaming isn't pac-man anymore.
George: If you're going to try to be the mature on in the conversation, knock off that stupid crap.#: Posted by on 10/29 at 02:22 AM -
Sandals writes...
Think of it as a cross between a hobby and a sport, and you'd get it about right in terms of importance and commitment involved. Gaming isn't pac-man anymore.
That's all fine and good, but there's still not a hobby or sport that justifies that kind of abuse from the kid. It would, much like the game system itself, be a very short-lived hobby and/or sport if that was the kind of response I got from my kid over it.
Which isn't to say that the parent isn't responsible for the monster she's dealing with in that clip -- I honestly think that she is and said as much in my own blog entry about it -- that's more or less the point. This kid likely got to be the way he is because he was allowed to. Be it through simple negligence or active teaching by example.
The parent needs to learn how to be a friggin' parent to her kid. At the age of 9 it's not too late to get him started down the right path if the parent starts parenting properly. This is something I know from personal experience. - I have to give props to the "camera" guy. He had the presence of mind to stop shooting and get in real close to the kid's avatar so that we could enjoy the lip-syncing for every "bullshit!" Too funny.
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That said, "simply pull[ing] the plug and smash[ing] the X-Box" is exactly the sort of poor impulse control that rubs off on kids and leads to jerkish behaviour on the part of the kids themselves.
I repectfullly disagree.
1. I pull the plug to raise the seriousness of the infraction to IMMEDIATE. Not in five minutes, not when you have a break in the action, NOW.
2. I smash the X-Box because screaming at a family member must have its consequences.
I have raised two children, and for half of the time as a single parent. One of the best ways of dealing with children, (and adults in any senior / junior setting), is consistency. I never beat my children, nor did I ever feel I had to. Nor did I ever tolerate violence, verbal or otherwise in the family. Sure it "almost" happened, but to this day my children tell the stories of getting up in the middle of dinner because they misbehaved in a restaurant. I never threatened. "Stop or we are leaving". They understood.
Immediate with consequences took my energy, my time and certainly patience. (I had to be willing to leave my dinner on the plate as well).
I am still pulling the plug... and I am still smashing the X-Box. Not in violence, but to be consistent and absolute. I will not tolerate the mistreatment and abuse on my family, even when the crime is committed by another family member.
One more thought... If this was a husband talking to his wife, and X-Box was a football game, and the chocolate milk was a beer, you would call this guy an abuser. What do you think this child is? How will he treat his wife and children when he grows up. Every abuser has to start somewhere. This kid has a good head start.#: Posted by on 10/30 at 07:30 PM -
George Cauldron
A video game is 'something important'?
Do you really want to stand in front of your kid as some authority who defies what the kid should consider important?
How old are you, 16 or 17?
Young enough to understand something about kids - something you obviously don't understand.
You see nothing wrong with a child screaming abuse at her mother over a video game?
You see nothing wrong with a mother nagging about some milk while the kid is doing something that needs his attention?
I urgently hope you become smarter than this before you have kids of your own.
I really do hope you'd skip talking about things you don't understand.#: Posted by Mikko Sandt on 10/31 at 07:59 PM -
Mikko:
You sound just like a self righteous 14 year old. That was about how old I was when I thought the world of adults was against me, and no one ever understood. It was when I thought I was soooo smart and had already figured out the meaning of life.
Your argument is weak. You were asked how old you were, and answered "Young enough to understand..." You then compare the child screaming obscenities with the mother nagging. Of course you also raise the level of a GAME to "something that needs his attention".
I will not argue with you. It is pointless. The fact that you easily equivocate with incomparable comparisons tells the story. You view life through the glasses of adolescence. (regardless of how old you are).#: Posted by on 11/01 at 07:35 PM -
Ahh. It's been a while, but I've had some time to edit and really nicen up my response. I post a longish response at my relatively new blog, which this post sort of push me over the edge into creating.
I guess only people that subscribed to this thread will see this, plus maybe PZ (do you get an e-mail for every comment?) but maybe I can start blog whoring around the rest of the internets. Think of it as a blogger-trackback. -
Ls nd dv r s gly tht rn strms stp n md r whn thy lk p. Thy r s gly tht cv mn sy "g bg rn t th cv". Ls s s gly tht swmp rts dv ndr th swmp wtr t vd hs vw, Dv lks s rtrdd tht prsts thrw p nd pk t th dnnr tbl. Whn thy bth ntr cty thsnds f chcks nd brds fl th r.Jb ntrvwrs sy ftr Ls's ntrvw "nw w mst rlct". lgtrs nd crcs r rlctnt t swm p t thm. Dv s sch dp stck tht spc shps slf dstrct.Pblcsts nd jrnlsts sy "nd thy wr trrbl sght t s".Ls cld trn rnd trffc wth hs gly fc. ld rtrd strpprs sy "thy r s nbwtchng nd bynd gly". Thy r s gly tht sngls sy " n ntrmxng wth ths gys ftr ml". Dv s s gly tht tst brns bfr pppng p frm n th tstr. Thy bth cld mk rm fll f spr mdls spcs whn thy ntr. knw Ls's fc md ppl sy " w! hw jdd ws h s chld".Dv nd Ls r s vrbs tht snls nd trtls ywn t thm.t fncy dnnr prtys ppl ll ps t sy "ky lts slwly mv twrds n xt".Ls cld stp stmpd f lphnts wth jst n lk.Tn nd slmn wld swm t th bttm f th lk whn thy fsh.n dy rl htnny f prts stppd nd ylld " rr! bck t th shp mts nd blnd fld th wmn!"vn Grll wmn tnd t sf grd thmslvs frm Ls. Lttr bmbs wld blw p n dvnc bfr thy gt th ml.vn th sknnst vgtrn wld sy " thts th knd f fcl mt t ct p nd plc n sm dg's brrw". lctrlyssts wld nd t s wd hckr fr Ls's brd. Srfrs wld drwn bfr mtng Ls n th bch.Ls cld pt hpp wth hs brng cmmnts.vn frgmn wld sbmrg ndr wtr whn Ls gz's t th s.Thts wht csd th vnsc f th bg ft.Ls cmpd thm ll wy. Rllckng wmn wld stp, str, nd thn rn t th sght f Ls.Pls Ls nd Dv stp pstng ths scknng nd stpd lkng phts!Sv s ll frm pkng p lnch.
[this is lame, Mr Kanada, and that's quite enough]#: Posted by Jimmy Kanada on 12/06 at 05:35 AM -
Cm n Ls! Hw mny rl ppl spprt yr grbg n th wb. Gt rl Ls! Y hd bhnd ths hcs pcs, vd, clt typ f crp t vd th fcts f yr wn lf. Y prsnfy rrgnc, htrd nd gnrnc. Thts why mst lt ppl knw bt wht y stnd fr nd tht's lt f fctv fckl mndd B.S. S wht f sm f yr brn wshd fntc fllwrs tk yr sd n ths. Th trth wll stll stnd. s fr s my pst ttcks n yr dmb blg. Thy wr fr rsn. T lt ll fls lk y knw. f y dnt strt nthng t wnt b nthng. Bt y jst hd t strt th mdnss. vn whn my frst cmmnt vr pstd ws nt vn bt y nd Dv. Y srt f mk m wndr. Hw sck cn th wrld rlly b. Sm ppl jk bt thngs n lf. thrs jst tk thngs wy t ltrl. vn thgh y my xprss yr blf nd pnns. Thy shld nt b drctd t ny thr typ f ppl s n nslt. S y jst hd t drct tht mss t m n yr stpd blg. Thts why hd t rtrn th rspns. vn f my rply ws ngtv nd crl. Whn mn wnts bf. Tt fr tt brng hm hs srvng. By! dd y mss wth th wrng dd r wht. Ys LS! (Stpd vl Bstrd) Jnkns r whtvr yr cd nm s. sd t! W ll r nttld t r wn pnn's rght? f y cnt stnd th ht gt t f th ktchn wth ll f tht wrd nd spky gssp. D y thnk tht th crp n yr wb (dry) r whtvr t s trns t lk....... vntg wn tht gts fnr vr tm lk gld f sm prcs mtl. MN PLS! Dnt mk m lgh. Yr cmmnts nd sttmnts r bwldrng nd bynd th rlms f tr rlty.
#: Posted by Jimmy Kanada on 12/25 at 08:16 PM
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YEAH! Just like i thought. Shame on those who cant face the true facts of the matter!
#: Posted by Jimmy Kanada on 12/26 at 02:17 AM