PZ Myers. 2005 Dec 01. The Calamari Wrestler. <http://pharyngula.org/index/weblog/the_calamari_wrestler/>. Accessed 2008 Sep 05.

Posted on M00o93H7pQ09L8X1t49cHY01Z5j4TT91fGfr on Thursday, December 01, 2005

The Calamari Wrestler

I have seen The Calamari Wrestler. It was…indescribable. I won't even try. The basic idea, though, is that it's about pro wrestling in Japan, with a dying wrestler who undergoes a magical transformation in Pakistan to keep him alive, which also allows him to become a super-star in the ring. He battles rivals to learn a heartwarming secret at the end.

I've put a few frames below the fold. Don't try to view them as a narrative; this is a surreal movie about wrestling invertebrates.

I learned many new things from this movie. I'll keep this in mind next time I wrestle an invertebrate.

I was wondering how a marine invertebrate was getting around so well in a wrestling ring.

There was a tragic moment. It turns out that if the squid has sex with a human and experiences true desire, it turns back into a human. (I think I saw this plotline on Buffy, once.) As you can see, he wants to turn back. Who can blame him?

Interestingly, his girlfriend was even more desperate to have him turn back. I'm afraid the movie was very vague on the bedroom details.

He is restored to his squidly form with the aid of some monks and the Ritual of 365 Points. Afterwards, his locker room smells very bad, but don't blame the squid.

The Calamari Wrestler has to fight an octopus.

And a crustacean, the Squilla.

Victory means promotional work and Japanese cheesecake.

All I've got to say is that if they make a sequel, they need to take me on as a consultant. The answer to the question is "no".

If anyone knows the details of the Ritual of 365 Points, please do send it on to me.

1. If anyone knows the details of the Ritual of 365 Points, please do send it on to me.
   
   No, no, PZ, you'll have to live in a tank and your daughter will be embarrassed by you.
   #: Posted by  on  12/01  at  11:27 PM
2. holy cow, PZ, where the $#!* did you find this?
   #: Posted by  on  12/01  at  11:27 PM
3. I've been trying to acquire a copy of this film since I first heard about it earlier this year. Any clues as to how to get it?
   
   As far as being a consultant on the sequel, let's hope Steve O'Shea is also up to the job.
   #: Posted by Squidblog  on  12/01  at  11:29 PM
4. Oh my God, Squilla sp....
   
   Those are 'spearers,' though. For boxing, you want a 'smasher' like Hemisquilla ensigera.
   
   There's also this, btw:
   http://www.blueboard.com/mantis/fiction/crust.htm
   #: Posted by Gavin M.  on  12/01  at  11:37 PM
5. So where the hell was Gojira?
   #: Posted by  on  12/01  at  11:41 PM
6. More on "Crust" at http://www.stablehouse.co.uk/crust.htm
   
   Seems much more 'realistic'. Realistic the same way ID is 'scientific'.
   
   Squids are pretty neat, but I prefer mantis shrimp.
   #: Posted by  on  12/01  at  11:55 PM
7. I will HAVE to see this!
   #: Posted by coturnix  on  12/02  at  12:52 AM
8. Daaaayum... I have to find this.
   
   Whatever they smoke in Japan, I'm not sure if I want some or not...
   #: Posted by  on  12/02  at  03:05 AM
9. PZ, I'm beginning to think you have ... unnatural relations with squid.
   #: Posted by Cyde Weys  on  12/02  at  03:34 AM
10. Come on, PZ, you can't pique our interest like this then leave us hanging. How do we get hold of a copy?
    #: Posted by  on  12/02  at  05:08 AM
11. Available via Netflix for those that are interested.
    #: Posted by Scooter  on  12/02  at  06:10 AM
12. I blogged it a few weeks ago... yet to watch the movie though. The stills are enough squid-fodder for now.
    #: Posted by Republic of Palau  on  12/02  at  06:37 AM
13. I got my copy from Bayesian Bouffant, but it's also available on Amazon.
    
    It actually reminded me of a Troma film, only without any of the gore or gratuitous breasts.
    #: Posted by PZ Myers  on  12/02  at  06:52 AM
14. Asian films beat American films for bizarreness hands down...
    #: Posted by Orac  on  12/02  at  07:24 AM
15. My brother who loves Japanese cult films (OK, he can also understand the language, having spent a year there) has a DVD and will make me a copy. He also says that the same director has a new movie out: Koala Executive
    #: Posted by coturnix  on  12/02  at  07:37 AM
16. This is more proof (as if more proof were needed) that it is simply impossible to out-weird the Japanese.
    
    Can't be done.
    
    Now back to my game of Silhouette Mirage ...
    #: Posted by Rick @ shrimp and grits  on  12/02  at  08:35 AM
17. Why am I thinking of the early episodes on http://www.ghastlycomic.com/ ?
    #: Posted by  on  12/02  at  08:56 AM

18. 
    Oh God, please turn Kan-Ichi into a squid again.
    

    
    The bizarre part is that she was saying this in a Buddhist monastery.
    
    
    BTW, If you were trying to follow the sound track, "Ika" (ee - kuh) is squid, and "Tako" (tah-ko) is octopus. That about exhasts my knowledge of Japanese. I will leave it for someone else to formulate a joke about a tako taco.
    #: Posted by  on  12/02  at  09:10 AM
19. Be warned: joint locks only don't work on a squid because he hasn't got any joints. If you were wrestling another sort of invertebrate - say, to keep with the Japanese food theme, a giant spider crab - I feel sure that joint locks would be a useful tactic. NB: but don't try to use a neck hold. Spider crabs don't have necks.
    
    You should start using the "it's a preconception by mediocre minds that..." form when addressing students.
    #: Posted by  on  12/02  at  11:10 AM
20. I think the "365 Points" relate to astrology-based acupuncture.
    

    There are twelve meridians that relate to twelve body organs, and there are 365 points where chi comes to the surface and may be controlled.

    
    This is a decent article on the differences between astrology-based and science-based acupunture:
    http://www.acsh.org/healthissues/newsID.772/healthissue_detail.asp
    #: Posted by grika  on  12/02  at  11:51 AM
21. I can't wait to see Executive Koala!
    #: Posted by  on  12/02  at  04:42 PM
22. Classic AND weird! I found it last week at Hollywood Video, so it's out there in the mainstream. It's not only good squid stuff, but the pro-wrestling side is a pretty accurate characiture of current (and historic) Japanese puroresu.
    #: Posted by  on  12/02  at  07:19 PM
23. "a tako taco."
    
    That must be one ika ("ee-kuh") meal?! Unlesss you are PZ, of course, who likes calamari however served.
    #: Posted by  on  12/03  at  01:52 PM